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What to do when your partner is cheating on you

Do you suspect that your partner is cheating on you but you don't know how to deal with the situation? Are you experiencing distance in your relationship and feel like your partner is pulling away from you or hiding something? Chances are you are experiencing anxiety in your relationship and are fearing the worst possible outcome.

cheating boyfriend

Here is what to do when you think your partner is cheating on you.

First things first suspecting that your partner is cheating on you is not a good feeling. Relationships can be tough at times but experiencing infidelity can be painful. It is not easy to feel like someone you are committed to and love is not being faithful, but here is what you can do and avoid doing.

  1. Talk to your partner. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you then you have to talk to them about it if it is safe to do so. If you are in an unsafe partnership such as a victim of domestic violence then it is not recommended to approach them if they are violent and it is not recommended to be in an unsafe violent relationship.

  2. Set boundaries. If your suspicions of your partner cheating on you is confirmed then you set a boundary with your partner. Setting a boundary can be applied if you and your partner are choosing to stay together after the infidelity. Choosing to stay together is not an easy decision but if both are committed to working things out then boundaries would have to be implemented.

  3. Talk to a therapist. You can do individual counseling or couples counseling/marriage counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Counseling helps to address your anxiety, stress, depression, frustration that you are experiencing due to the infidelity. Couples therapy also helps couples get to the root of the infidelity. What happened, why, and how to move forward. It is important to note that couples therapy and marriage counseling takes times. There is no guarantee that your relationship will be saved but you will gain important tools to be in a healthy relationship.

  4. Talk to your close friends or support network. When you find out that your partner is cheating on you it is a painful feeling. It takes time to heal from infidelity and it would be helpful for you to be around your support network. It's important to be near people that support you and want to be there for you during this hard time.

  5. Get out of your house and do something. It's easier to stay home and cry when you just found out your partner cheated on you. You might feel like you can't do anything else but stay home and sulk, but this is the time to keep going. Go grab yourself a coffee, go for a hike, go workout, go buy groceries. The point is to to keep moving because your mental health needs benefits from it. You should address your emotions and it's important to make time for that but you also cannot lock yourself away. Your heart is crushed but your life is not over.

  6. Create a new routine. You might have set routines with your partner but during the healing process it's great to create your own. Maybe incorporate a morning exercise routine or meditation, mindfulness, yoga, journaling, etc. Create a routine that is just for you and for the improvement of your mental health.

healing after a breakup
healing after infidelity

Your life is not over because you found out your partner cheated and maybe your relationship isn't over either. Healing takes time and if both people are committed to making it work, not repeating past behaviors, and doing counseling this relationship could improve. If you find yourself obsessing over what happened and blaming yourself then talk to a therapist. You are not alone in your struggle and you are not to blame. Working with a professional can help you heal from your emotional pain and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever hardship you experience know that this too shall pass.


Healing Therapy Services is a private therapy practice focused on serving and individuals and couples wanting to address their relationship, anxiety, stress, and seasonal depression.

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