Sometimes you just need to talk to a therapist when you notice your relationships are falling apart. These relationships consist of family, friends, colleagues, and intimate partners. There are also times when it's appropriate not to have relationships with people in those categories. This is if they are putting you down, making you feel about yourself, emotionally or physically abusive, manipulative, gaslighters, and overall just toxic. And of course there are some people you don't have relationships with because you don't click, their is no animosity per se but your personalities just don't click---and that's okay. What we will address is the constant shift in relationships the moment things get difficult, when things are slightly uncomfortable, you might need too much from them or when you consistently butt heads with people. These are the issues we will address.
You will outgrow people and some people will outgrow you. Not all friendships are meant to last but not all friendships end. Issues arise when you cut off every single person the second they let you down or you get upset with them. Another problematic situation is when people leave you because either you have high expectations of them or coming off as "too needy." Being told your "too needy" is an uncomfortable feeling but if you are consistently being told that your suffercating someone or expecting too much of them chances are this could be true. This might true in some cases but not in all.
On one hand you might meet friends or partners who are healthy for you but are being pushed away by the consistantneeds you have which are unrealistic for them to meet. And on the otherhand you might be asking for the bare minimum from a person such as a call back or follow-through but them being more avoidant and emotionally unavailable will interpret this as being too needy. It comes down to taking a step back and reflecting which relationships you truly are expecting too much and which ones you are expectin the bare minimum.
You might be thinking that if someone thinks your "too much" then you don't need them. With all honesty you decide who you want to have relationships with but other people get to decide if they want a relationship with you as well. If youre always making statements to cut people off the second your feelings are hurt or you experience frustration and/or anxiety you wont have that many people around.
You might not need people as you have convinced yourself, but do you really not want anyone around? Maybe you are self-sufficent and resilient and have accomplished much on your own that you don't feel like you need anyone, but imagine how improved your life would be if you did some self-reflecting and gave people chances. Another way to improve relationships with others is to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you to identify areas of your life that need work and help you to develop strategies for better communication. They can also provide you with a safe space to express yourself and to work through any past trauma or negative experiences.
In some cases, it is best to keep your distance from certain people. You know these types of people. You may have had friendships with them in the past, but over time bridges were burned and hurt occurred. Those are no longer your people and that feeling of losing a connection sucks. It's not fun to lose a friend. However, sometimes when you let go of people who aren't for you, you gain people who are. You can create healthier bonds with people over time especially when you work on the contributing factors leading to poor relationships (e.g. unresolved childhood trauma, poor self-esteem, need for approval, anxiety, loneliness, etc.).
You have to take action and talk your anxious thoughts out.
There is a lot of power in our thoughts, and if these thoughts are always against us, then our situation will not improve.Talking to a marriage and family therapist has the following benefits:
Help you identify your fears in relationships (e.g. being forgotten, abandoned, rejected, used, disregarded, etc.)
Help you address anxiety as it arises in your relationships.
Assist you in expressing your feelings and needs calmly
Learn not to take everything personally
Discover more effective ways of handling stress and fears
Manage your anxiety and depression
Get to the root of your pain---who hurt you?
Build strong & healthy relationships with others
Take advantage of this time to reflect, grow, and heal. Embrace your anxiety and depression instead of giving them power.You can overcome hardships in relationships and realize your full potential. If you want to improve your relationships, seek professional help and speak to a therapist. With commitment and effort, you can transform your life and relationships for the better. You deserve healing and supportive relationships.