Will therapy help me stop getting attached so quickly?

The goal of therapy isn't to make you care less about relationships. It's to help you feel more secure within them. As you understand your attachment patterns and build confidence in yourself, many clients find they can enjoy relationships without feeling consumed by fear, uncertainty, or the need for constant reassurance.

How long does therapy for anxious attachment take?

Everyone's healing journey is different. Some clients notice changes within the first few months, while others benefit from longer-term therapy to address deeper relationship patterns. During your first therapy sessions with your anxiety specialist and therapist , we'll discuss your goals and create a treatment plan that fits your needs.

Do you offer online therapy?

Yes. We offer secure virtual therapy throughout California, making it easy to receive support from the comfort of your home. We also provide in-person therapy in Campbell, CA for clients who prefer meeting face-to-face. If you live in Dublin, Oakland, Morgan Hill, Gilroy, Belmont or San Mateo and can't make it to our office and are looking for online therapy we can work with you.

How often should I attend therapy?

For clients working on anxious attachment and relationship anxiety, we typically recommend weekly therapy to build momentum and create meaningful change. Many clients benefit from attending weekly sessions for approximately 10 sessions before discussing whether transitioning to every other week is appropriate based on their progress and goals.

What causes fear of abandonment?

Fear of abandonment often develops after experiences of emotional inconsistency, loss, betrayal, or difficult childhood relationships. It can also emerge after painful adult relationships or breakups. Therapy helps you process these experiences so they no longer control how you experience closeness and intimacy.

Can therapy help with anxious attachment?

Yes. Therapy for anxious attachment focuses on understanding why these relationship patterns developed and learning healthier ways to respond to them. Together, we'll explore the experiences that shaped your attachment style, improve emotional regulation, strengthen self-worth, and help you build more secure relationships.

Attachment Therapy in Campbell | Healing Therapy Services

Attachment Therapy in Campbell & San Jose

Stop overthinking relationships, fearing abandonment, and getting attached too quickly.

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What is an anxious attachment style?

Do you find yourself overthinking relationships, fearing abandonment, seeking constant reassurance, or struggling to trust that you're enough? These are common signs of an anxious attachment style, and they can make even healthy relationships feel emotionally exhausting.

At Healing Therapy Services, we provide attachment style therapy for adults in Campbell, Santa Clara, and throughout California through online therapy. Together we'll help you understand why these patterns developed, heal the underlying wounds, and build healthier, more secure relationships.

Your attachment style influences how you connect with others, handle conflict, respond to distance, and experience emotional intimacy. In therapy you can learn how to stop clinging on to the first person you feel "could be the one"

If you have an anxious attachment style, you may:

Attachment Therapy Can Help With:

Become attached very quickly
You feel like you're too needy or the problem
Constantly seek reassurance
Afraid of abandonment
Fear being rejected
Overanalyze communication
Struggle when someone needs space
Stay in unhealthy relationships because leaving feels unbearable

Start challenging the overthinking
Learn not to attach too quickly
Getting better at listening to your inner voice when it feels off
Develop healthier forms of attachment
Feel more secure in all relationships
Learn to feel comfortable in your own company

Book Consultation

Healing Therapy Services provides anxious attachment therapy for adults in Campbell, Santa Clara, San Jose, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Sunnyvale, and throughout California via online therapy.

Signs You May Have an Anxious Attachment Style

If you have an anxious attachment style, relationships might be challenging. You might want closeness but fear it. You may notice that you tend to overthink or overanalyze text messages, silence, or past conversations. This is to the point that you feel anxious, drained, and frustrated. You could be worried about where you stand in another person's life, if they don't want you anymore or if they are leaving you. Those anxious thoughts do not just happen once. They usually happen weekly or daily.

These anxious patterns usually develop as a way to protect you from experiencing the emotional pain of rejection or abandonment. However, over time they actually create more stress and hurt you more than they benefit.

These might be some of the things you experience in relationships:

Constantly worry that your partner will lose interest or leave you.
Overanalyze texts, conversations, or changes in your partner's behavior.
You seek frequent reassurance that your relationship is okay.
Fear abandonment, even in healthy relationships.
Struggle to trust your partner's love or commitment.
Put your partner's needs first to avoid conflict or rejection.
Difficulty setting healthy boundaries because you're afraid of upsetting others.
Feeling anxious or emotionally overwhelmed when your partner needs space.

Where Does Anxious Attachment Come From?

.When caregivers (parents or whoever took care of you as a child) lack emotionally availability, reliability, and a sense of security, children are more likely to develop an insecure attachment style. When the caregiver is consistent, reliable, caring, patient, emotionally available and encouraging, those children are more likely to develop a secure attachment style.

Adults with attachment anxiety may be more likely to:

Fear rejection or abandonment - please don't leave me
Consistently seeking reassurance from partners - "you still love me," "you're not leaving me" and "you're not mad at me," or "do you approve of me?"
Be highly sensitive to signs of conflict - shut down, withdraw, or cut off when conflict comes up
Worry about relationship stability - "have they lost interest?" "is the relationship over?"
Experience increased emotional distress during relationship difficulties - I need to fix this

Anxious attachment style is not permanent

Research suggests that your insecure attachments can be improved. Studies have found that you can develop a secure attachment style when you have these:

Healthy, supportive relationships
Individual therapy
Couples therapy
Corrective emotional experiences
Developing enhanced emotional regulation skills

Attachment Therapy in Campbell Can Help

Clinical research supports several therapeutic approaches that may reduce attachment anxiety and improve relationship functioning, including:

Attachment-based therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EMDR - typically helpful when insecure attachment developed to past trauma

The goal isn't to only change your attachment style so it sounds better. Instead, it is about addressing what got you there and giving you tools to have more successful relationships. You will learn how to stop worrying as much, letting anxiety control you, emotional regulation, and how to become more comfortable and confident in conflict that will naturally arise in relationships.

Therapy Can Help You Discover Why You Get So Attached

Many people believe getting attached quickly means they're simply too emotional or too sensitive. In reality, anxious attachment often develops as an understandable response to earlier life experiences.

Sometimes it begins in childhood when love, attention, or emotional support felt inconsistent or unpredictable. Other times it develops after painful adult relationships, betrayal, abandonment, or repeated experiences of feeling emotionally unsafe.

Your brain learns that relationships are uncertain, so it becomes highly alert to any sign that someone might leave. This can create a cycle of overthinking, seeking reassurance, and feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Therapy at Healing Therapy Services in Campbell & San Jose helps you understand where these patterns come from so they no longer control your relationships.

Attachment Therapy helps you discover why you want closeness but are afraid of it

One of the most confusing parts of anxious attachment is wanting deep connection while also feeling terrified of getting hurt. You want to feel loved but worry that you are not worthy of being loved.

You may crave intimacy but constantly worry that you'll be rejected. Sometimes you may become anxious when someone gets too close because it makes you feel vulnerable, yet you also feel distressed when they pull away.

This push-and-pull can leave relationships feeling emotionally exhausting.

Learning to tolerate vulnerability without becoming overwhelmed is an important part of developing a more secure attachment.

So what do you do about it? Keep feeling anxious and hope it will go away on it's own or do you see an attachment specialist (a person trained in addressing attachment issues in relationships).

Helping You Build More Secure Relationships

You don't have to keep repeating the same relationship patterns or wondering why you get attached so quickly.

If you're ready to understand your attachment style, heal old relationship wounds, and build healthier, more secure connections, we're here to help.

Stop Experiencing:

getting attached too quickly
fear of abandonment
overthinking relationships
constantly needing reassurance
worry they'll leave me
anxiety in dating
obsessive thoughts about relationships

Healing Therapy Services provides attachment style therapy for adults in Campbell, Santa Clara, San Jose, Cupertino, Sunnyvale, and throughout California via online therapy for Mill Valley, Dublin, Pacifica, Fremont, & Milpitas, CA.

Kari Del Real, Attachment Therapist
Owner & Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

IMG_0738_Facetune_13-01-2026-16-05-27.HEIC

Relationship Expert & Individual Therapist

Kari Del Real is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Healing Therapy Services. For more than 10 years, she has helped adults throughout California overcome anxiety, navigate relationship challenges, and build healthier, more secure connections.

Kari understands that relationship anxiety can leave you constantly overthinking, fearing rejection, seeking reassurance, or feeling emotionally exhausted. Rather than simply treating the symptoms, she helps clients understand the deeper patterns driving their anxiety so they can experience lasting change.

Learn About Kari

Starting Therapy in Three Easy Steps

Schedule Consultation

Consultations are free and 15 minutes. Gives you time to briefly share what brings you to therapy and discover if we are a good fit.

Meet Your Therapist

You will be paired up with an expert licensed therapist that matches what you are looking to address in therapy.

Start Therapy

We have individual or couples therapy in Campbell office or online for anywhere in California. Flexible and easy sessions.

Imagine Where Your Life Will Be

One Year From Now

You could still be replaying the same arguments in your head.

Wondering why relationships feel so difficult.

Feeling anxious every time conflict arises.

Hoping things will eventually change.

Or you could spend the next year:

learning healthier communication
building confidence
understanding your attachment patterns
creating stronger relationships that feel safe, connected, and fulfilling

The hardest part is often taking the first step.

Frequently Asked Questions

Overthinking is a common response to relationship anxiety. When your brain perceives a relationship as uncertain, it may constantly search for signs that something is wrong. You may replay conversations, analyze text messages, or assume the worst. Therapy helps calm this cycle by addressing both the anxiety and the attachment patterns beneath it. In therapy we can explore what go you to this point and process childhood and past relationships.

Are You Ready For Attachment Therapy?

Starting therapy for your own anxiety & relationship concerns is a step in the right direction. Therapy can feel intimidating, but usually once you start you will feel more comfortable.

If you are ready to improve yourself then schedule your free consultation.

→ Explore online couples therapy

→ Learn About Individual Therapy

→ Couples Therapy Costs

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